Baby Please!

Schrendria Blog

Don’t Forget

I posted this last week but it’s worth repeating.

Recently I came across pictures from Mother’s Day 2013.  IMG_1582My husband (Marcus) arranged for someone to capture the moment as he and our 8 month old son Marc presented me with a bouquet of flowers following the Mother’s Day program at church.  I was the morning speaker and my Pastor (Rev. Dr. Ronnie E. Brailsford, Sr.) came to give remarks as he normally does but this time he called Marcus to the pulpit for a special presentation. I was taken aback as Marcus not only publicly displayed his affection but also spoke briefly about all of the challenges we endured.  It is very difficult to surprise me, but he was able to pull it off with the help of great friends.  He reminded me that every time I endured a loss and felt pain so did he, and when I had moments where I was mad at God, so was he and when I was at a loss for words oftentimes so was he.  However, we never experienced our lowest moments at the same time.  Therefore we were there to comfort one another in our time of greatest need.  Then God reminded me that although we had Marc we must never forget our journey and that it was our assignment to help others.  Therefore when people wonder why do I write about infertility when I have three children it’s because I will never forget.

I will never forget the years and the tears to Marc, Caleb and Kyle.

I will never forget the heartache and they pain, fighting back the tears ( for 3 years) every month when Aunt Flow came to visit.

I will never forget the church members and family members who said things like, “what are you waiting on, you are going to be too old soon, the bible says be fruitful and multiply.” Little did they know Icould have experienced a miscarriage two weeks earlier.

I will never forget the dagger to my heart when I heard the words “no heartbeat.”

I will never forget waking up one Saturday morning to volunteer and give the opening prayer at a Mother/Daughter relationship conference and all I see is blood in the toilet.

I will never forget rushing to the hospital on a separate occasion with  intense cramps praying all the way with my husband that we were not experiencing a miscarriage, only to see blood dripping from the cot as we waited in the hallway after several hours because there was no bed available in the emergency room.

I will never forget having to call a friend to drive me to an urgent care facility because my husband was out of town and hear a doctor say, “oh you are probably having a miscarriage, the pain will pass soon.” And he sent me home without a bit of remorse, words of comfort or care.

I will never forget.  I don’t care if I birth 10 children and adopt 10 more those three angles will always be apart of me.  I will always hold a special place in my heart for those who desire to be parents. I will always lend an ear and be the voice of reason for anyone who needs me. I will always try to persuade others to be sensitive to the topic of childbirth because you don’t know what a person is going through.

I urge you also don’t forget!

Don’t forget to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Don’t forget to do unto others as you will have them do unto you.

Don’t forget to count your blessings there is someone who wants to be in your shoes.

Finally, don’t forget the bridge that  brought you over. Reach back and help someone else.  Don’t allow pride and arrogance to over-take you.

Don’ Forget- I Love You!

Until next time,

Schrendria

 

 

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When Are You Having a Baby?

Today I want to share a blog from my dear friend Chaunte McClure. I’m sure many of my followers can relate to her post. I know you will enjoy it.

Every Woman Blog

By: Chaunte McClure

Last year, after learning that local police found the body of a missing child, I said, “If I ever become a mom, I will give my child countless hugs, kisses and I love you’s.” I still stand on those words, although I sit here without a child in my womb or in my home. Pregnancy testI’ve accepted the idea that I may never become a mother. And I think I’m okay with that. I think.

For some couples, deciding to have children is a no-brainer because they mutually agree before even tying the knot. Others want a family, but they’ve had the unfortunate experience of their baby dying in the womb. Some couples are trying to have a child and have spent hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests that always give them a negative result. Then there are couples like my husband and me who haven’t decided to…

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Easy

The few times I’ve been out with the twins I’ve heard the same comment, “you make it look easy.”   People look in awe at how calm the boys are and how well I handle them simotaneously.  The outings primarily consists of doctor visits, where even the pediatrician commended me and my husband on making parenting three children under two look easy.

Well let me sound the alarm—IT’S NOT EASY–BUT IT’S WORTH IT!!

Although the assignment given to us is a bit challenging at times we would not have it any other way.  We prayed for these little miracles and now that we have them we couldn’t be happier. God gave us twins when we had a 21 month old son because He knew we could handle it.  There are times when I begin to feel overwhelmed and even think about having a pity party.  However , I quickly snap out of it when I think of the three babies that we lost and when I think of the millions of women who want to be a mom.  I realize that I have three precious gifts and I am equipped to care for them and love them unconditionally.

When Jesus walked the dusty streets to the Cross some would say he made it look easy.   He did not complain on the journey or waddle in self-pity because he knew that he was fulfilling his assignment.  That’ s how I view this journey. God has assigned to our hands these three boys and I cheerfully say not my will but your will be done.  Some may say you are missing out on so many great things because you are always home with the boys.  I feel the exact opposite.  I am having the time of my life watching them grow.  Before our sons arrived we traveled to several countries, took extravaggant vacations, attended concerts and seminars meeting and posing with numerous A-list celebrities. And all of those things fail in comparison to hearing the words moma and daddy for the first time, seeing them take that first step or hearing the words I love you. There is a time and a season for everything and this is my time to be Mommy-in-Chief.

When you see us out in public I will make it look easy.  When you see me at home I may make it look easy.  But know that I am praying constantly for guidance, wisdom and even a pleasant disposition as I raise these boy to become great men.  Daily I cast down thoughts and imaginations that are contrary to spirit of God.  When I feel overwhelmed or attacked or boarder-lined depressed, I know where those feelings are coming from and I know that it is time to FIGHT.  Thus I revert back to my high school cheer days and recite the words of one of my favorite chants.

“How we gonna beat them? EASY man.  How we gonna beat them?  EASY man.

With what?  TEAMwork. With what?  TEAMwork.

E-A-S-Y-Easy man EASY!!!!”
Easy ButtonUntil next time,

Schrendria

 

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Persevere

“Don’t Quit”!  I grew up hearing this poem all the time as a child.  My mom recited this poem frequently at various church programs and instilled it in all her children as we were all athletes and involved in various extra-curricula activities.   I guess this is what made me have such tenacity as an adult.  Even when experiencing horrific pain in my adult life I could not quit. There were times I thought I should have quit, but I could not!!!

  • After trying for over three years to conceive a child I should have quit.
  • After having the first miscarriage I should have quit.
  • After the second miscarriage I should have quit.
  • After having seven fibroids removed from my uterus ranging from the size of a pebble to the size of a cantaloupe, I should have quit.
  • After having the third miscarriage at 20 weeks, I should have quit.

I had to persevere and I thank God that I did.

If I gave up I would not have Marc.

If I gave up I would not have Caleb.

If I gave up I would not have Kyle.

I could not quit.  I read and heard stories about others who endured much more than I did on the road to motherhood.  I learned that if you lost one child or if you lost five children the hurt is still the same. WE can’t compare our stories to others, but there has to be something inside of us that tells us to keep pushing.

Maybe you are reading this and you are not interested in having a baby but have a different situation in which you feel like giving up—- don’t quit.  Find comfort in the words of this song “Can’t Give Up Now”  by Mary Mary.

 

 

There will be mountains that I will have to climb.  
And there will be battles that I will have to fight. 
But victory or defeat
 it’s up to me to decide. 
But how can I expect to win, if I never try.

I just can’t give up now 
I’ve come too far from where I started from
.  Nobody told me the road would be easy. 
And I don’t believe He’s brought me this far to leave me.

Never said there wouldn’t be trials,
never said I wouldn’t fall. Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
. But when my back is against the wall
 and I feel all hope is gone
. I’ll just lift my head up to the sky and say help me to be strong.

I just can’t give up now
. Come too far from where I started from. 
Nobody told me the road would be easy. 
And I don’t believe He’s brought me this far to leave me.

 

Until Next Time,

Keep Pressing!

Schrendria

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