Baby Please!

Schrendria Blog

More Than I Can Bear

Recently I was reminded of a song by Kirk Franklin entitled: “More Than I Can Bear.” The words to the song are:
I’ve gone through the fire and I’ve been through the flood
I’ve been broken into pieces seen lightnin’ flashin’ from above
But through it all I remember that He loves me
And He cares and He’ll never put more on me than I can bear

Often I find myself taking on more tasks and assignments than I think I can handle. I am guilty of using the phrase, “he will never put more on me than I can bear” as a crutch in my inability to say “No!” I often tell people, especially women, that negative stress is created when your heart says NO but your mouth says YES. I’m having to practice what I preach–imagine that.

Recently I mentioned a grant opportunity to a client and felt very strongly that we should submit an application although the time frame was less than desirable. After agreeing, I eagerly began working on the proposal but everything that could come up, did come up,in the days leading to the deadline. I put the kids to bed by 7:30 each evening and would stay up sometimes to 3am trying to complete the project. Needless to say on the due date I was still putting pieces of the puzzle together. The proposal was completed but this funder was very specific about how the hard copies were to be submitted. The client and I rushed to submit the proposal and I breathed a sigh of relief once it was over.

The next day I began to ask myself a series of questions:
1. Why had I taken on numerous projects due around the same time? (not work related)
2. Am I overextended?
3. What could I have delegated?
4. Why did’t I factor the unexpected? (teething, colds, ear infections)
5. What did I learn from this experience?

Although there were many more questions that racked my brain, I rejoiced in the fact that “I Did It,” as my two-year old would say. I got it all done—but at what cost?
I understand that life is a balancing act and now that the three boys are here I have to do things differently. I can’t schedule ear infections, tummy aches, bumps and bruises but they are a part of life and deadlines do not succumb to them.

NO, God will never put more on us than we can bear, but is it God or is it us—-That is the BIGGEST question I posed to myself. In life we won’t always get it right. Each stage in life brings about a change. Even when others won’t accept our NO stand firm and live by the quote, “I will show you better than I can tell you.” It’s easy to read a blog or stand on the outside of a situation and profess to have all the answers. I’ve learned to quietly laugh at those people and you should too.

At the end of the day I do what has to be done. Some days I wish I had done more and some days I can’t move another muscle. I realize even more that time is a precious commodity. I choose my activities wisely (work and play because I need both) and I detest when my time is not valued or respected. I am so much better at not over extending myself and am finding balance in this wife, mommy, entrepreneur, minister, daughter, sister, friend world in which I reside.

I know that God won’t put more on me than I can bear now I need to follow suit.

Oh about the grant????? Yeah we were funded and it will make a significant difference in the lives of many!!!

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Happy Birthday

2nd Birthday Cake

2nd Birthday Cake

Two years ago God blessed me with a beautiful baby boy. Whew, finally I had reached my destination after five long years of trying to become a mother.  However, the journey was just beginning.  Even at the age of two this little boy has taught me sooooo much.  The biggest thing I’ve learned is to enjoy every moment I have with my children.  I don’t take life for granted and can’t spend time living in my perfectionist type A bubble that I’ve grown accustomed to.  Thus when plans A thru Z failed (literally) and I decided to have my son’s second birthday party at our home I started praying immediately.  You see hosting a 2-year old party in a 1,700 square foot home with 3 month old twins and are large family don’t mix.  At the last minute I’m putting together a menu, planning activities, doing laundry, cleaning and praying praying praying.

1. Please help me not to snap, go off, become overly irritated with anyone especially my husband.

2.  Please help me not to become overly concerned with making my guests comfortable that I fail to enjoy Marc and his friends.

3.  Please don’t let me forget to check on the twins and make sure they are fed and changed despite the fact that grandmas are here loving on them. (I still need to check-in)

4. Please help me to smile and say thank you, thank you, thank you when Im offered unsolicited advice on topics ranging from career to childcare.

Amen, Amen, Amen and Amen.

Despite my doing everything in my power not to have this party at my home I think I did okay. God truly answered my prayers.  I spoke to the nearly 50 people who came to my home and tried to greet everyone with a hug and a smile.  I did not have a full conversation with any adults but was appreciative of everyone’s willingness to pitch in and make themselves comfortable.  I am usually a much better hostess especially to my first time guests, however I had to stay focused on my number one agenda.  Most people say a one or tw0-year old party is all about the adults, however I really wanted this time to be about my son. No one knows him better than I do so I figured forget the traditional status quo simply do the things that makes him happy.  He loves music and he loves balloons so if I had those two things I could not go wrong.  Thus we played balloon games and we sang and we sang and we sang.  “Head Shoulders Knees and Toes” by the Wiggles must have played 100 times in my house this weekend, along with “Ring Around the Rosy” and “Row Row Row Your Boat.”  That was it–simple, simple, simple.  There was not a theme.  There was no bounce house. There was no photo booth, clown or action figure.  There was a little boy being made a big deal of by his mom and dad in a house filled with people who loved him dearly. To see the smile on his face as the music played and the balloons popped was  priceless.

I’m proud of myself because despite my tendencies to want to control everything that was going on around me, I reminded myself to put first things first.  Putting first things first meant:

1.  I forgot to restock to bathroom with paper towel and tissue, but I see someone found it.

2. Someone probably didn’t have a place to sit because I didn’t request enough folding chairs, but they were fine standing.

3. There was not enough ice, when I explicitly said that there was, but someone brought more.

Putting first things first meant:

4.  I forgot to request helium and non helium balloons so the activity could go as written but it was all the same to the birthday boy.

5. I could not answer my phone when guests were calling to say they were lost, running late or to ask if I needed anything.

6. I put a number one candle on the cake for my two-year old son despite the fact that I had the correct candle. (he is just learning the difference-oh well).

So I made many mistakes and was not very talkative to the adults but I was tuned in to what was most important—the birthday boy.  I can truly say that I will always remember this day.  The gift that he gave to me will manifest as I celebrate the twins birthday as well.  I can’t get so caught up in making sure everything is perfect for everyone else that I forget the one we came to celebrate.

This reminds me of many Christians and how we carry ourselves during the Christmas season.  We are so busy doing things for others, buying gifts for people we don’t like and going to parties with people we loathe all in the name of spreading Christmas cheer.  We do all these things but we forget about the main attraction. We forget about the star of the show. We forget about Jesus.  We do all these things in the name of celebrating him but never actually spend time with him.

Well I spent time with my baby and I have no regrets.  If no one else was happy and if no one else had a good time Marc Anthony Robinson and I enjoyed ourselves at the party.

Until next time,